I had a hard time with the weekend, because the following Monday (May 16) I would be starting full time in Topeka for a few months. I haven't worked full time since her arrival, and truthfully it was like going back for the first time all over again. Once I got there and got busy with work it was better, but still tough. However, with that said I am so grateful for the opportunity to work up there and backfill for others while they are deployed. Having a job that requires you to be gone is tough, and having one that requires you to deploy is even harder. Before Tenley was born I was convinced I could do it (deploy), it was in fact my job and one that I really love to do.... however, as my date got nearer the tears came more and more often. I decided to approach them at work to see if I would by any chance not have to deploy this year. I am still nursing and was (and am not) ready to stop yet, and the thought of leaving her for an extended period of time at this point was/is heartbreaking. With the support of great peers and supervisors my wish came true, I would not have to deploy this rotation. What I would be able to do is backfill at the base while others are taking care of business around the world. I am truly blessed to have friends that were willing to step up even more that they already had to make it possible for me to stay home. So each time I start to feel burned out, frustrated with my alarm going off at 4:30 a.m. to start my day, and guilty for leaving Miss Tenely, I remind myself what others are doing so that I have the opportunity to wake up at 4:30, to drive to Topeka for a day of work, and then drive home and be with my girl..each.night. I am eternally grateful to you all!
(the new daily work schedule is why the posts have been slim lately...I am getting in the swing of things a big more so will do my best to pick up the pace)